Some honors that the NFL forgot

The Papa Bear Awards include bouquets and lumps of coal alike.

Fred Warner

The NFL doled out their annual awards Thursday night in Las Vegas. The only surprise was that Taylor Swift didn’t win any. 

Lamar Jackson was the MVP, Christian McCaffrey and Myles Garrett were the offensive and defensive players of the year, and Kevin Stefanski was the top coach (well, maybe that’s a bit of a surprise, at least to John Harbaugh and Sean McVay). 

C.J. Stroud and Will Anderson brought both rookie awards to Houston. Jim Schwartz, the Browns’ defensive coordinator, was assistant coach of the year — remember, the ballots were collected before the Texans lit up Cleveland on Wild Card Weekend.

I understand why Joe Flacco was the comeback player, but he came back from the couch and didn’t play in the first half of the season for Cleveland. Baker Mayfield resuscitated himself in Tampa Bay, played all season with increasing confidence, and won a playoff game. And, of course Damar Hamlin came back from death’s doorknob on Jan. 2 and played in four games for the Bills. That was a real comeback.

Since I didn’t mention Swift’s name until the 18th and 19th words of this newsletter, I do not qualify for any writing honors. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t have any more awards. The football awards aren’t nearly as hot an issue as those in baseball, primarily because the NFL voters really don’t care about PEDs and, in fact, would be astounded if any player made it through two weeks without some sort of inoculation.

Roger Goodell and the NFL Network had no interest in matching the Grammy Awards in time-of-game, but there were a few achievers, both of the over and under variety, that deserved some light. So here are the Papa Bear Awards, in honor of George Halas, the man without whom we’d have to actually talk to our families on Sunday afternoons.

BAD COACH: You have to get through 17 games to claim this award, which eliminates Josh McDaniels, Brandon Staley and Arthur Smith. Philadelphians nominate Nick Sirianni, who came within a defensive holding call of winning last year’s Super Bowl but supervised a Eagles’ collapse worthy of the 1964 Phillies. I would agree.

ROOKIE COACH: Houston won 11 games, counting playoffs, and became the first team to win an NFL division with a rookie coach and quarterback. Obviously the QB is the focal point, but DeMeco Ryans crafted a team that looked pretty complete by season’s end.

OWNER: Hard to beat Clark Hunt, grandson of H.L. and son of Lamar. The Hunts have owned the Chiefs since they debuted as the Dallas Texans, and they moved to Kansas City two years before Clark was born. Clark, now 58, has extended the club’s reputation as an island of tranquil accomplishment, and he’ll deserve to be in the club’s Ring of Honor merely for hiring Andy Reid.

BAD OWNER: If you work for Carolina’s David Tepper and you haven’t been fired yet, the advice is to rent, not buy.

EXECUTIVE: To the best regular-season team goes the spoils, and Eric DeCosta is making Ozzie Newsome proud as Baltimore’s GM. He completely renovated Baltimore’s offensive look and had a deep enough roster to survive major casualties. Remember, he picked Kyle Hamilton, the league’s next defensive tyrant, despite so-so combine numbers.

DRAFT CHOICE: The Rams’ Les Snead, maestro of Days Two and Three, found Puca Nacua in the fifth round of last year’s draft. Nacua took about two minutes to forge a bond with Matthew Stafford. If there was a rookie wall, he ran through it, setting yearling records for catches (105) and yards (1,473), and did everything he could against the Lions in the playoffs.

BAD DRAFT CHOICE: The Commanders took Mississippi State’s Emmanuel Forbes 16th in the first round, primarily because he had set the major college record for TD runbacks of interceptions. By Week 5, Washington had benched the cornerback and he didn’t get back into the lineup until Week 17. In the interim he was ejected and fined $15,000 for a helmet butt on Seattle’s Tyler Lockett.

RECEIVER: It’s either the Dolphins’ Tyreek Hill or the Cowboys’ Cee Dee Lamb, and Hill had more touchdowns, a higher yards-per-attempt average, more first downs and fewer fumbles.

OFFENSIVE LINEMAN: It will eventually be Penai Sewell of the Lions, but San Francisco’s Trent Williams, at 35, was a better pass-protector and Sewell’s only rival, among tackles, at run blocking.

OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR: It’s not like he didn’t have talent to work with, but Detroit’s Ben Johnson had a great run-pass rhythm going. And Johnson, after doing all the interviews, will be back on the headset with the Lions next year.

DEFENSIVE BACK: Atlanta’s Jessie Bates III had the second-most tackles of any defensive back. He also had six interceptions and three forced fumbles. Antoine Winfield of Tampa Bay is also deserving, as is L’Jarius Sneed of the Chiefs.

FREE AGENT: Technically it’s Jackson, because he did go to free agency before he re-signed with Baltimore, but Bates is the leader among those who changed teams (Cincinnati to Atlanta).

LINEBACKER: San Francisco’s Fred Warner did more things well than anyone, although teammate Dre Greenlaw is a terrific accomplice.

KICKER: Brandon Aubrey, formerly of Notre Dame soccer, was true on all 13 field goal tries from 40 or more yards for the Cowboys.

PUNTER: Ryan Stonehouse of the Titans had the best leg but also had 10 touchbacks. The nod goes to Jacksonville’s Logan Cooke, whose 61 punts were only returned for 154 yards, and he was third in net punting.

BEST GAME: Philadelphia 37, Buffalo 34 with Jalen Hurt hustling the Eagles 75 yards in overtime and taking care of the final 12 yards himself. The Bills led by 10 late in the third quarter. When they lost, they seemed hopelessly out of the playoffs, and the Eagles seemed impregnable. Instead Philadelphia went 1-5 the rest of the way and Buffalo got to the AFC semifinals. The game also featured the best kick, a 59-yarder by the Eagles’ Jake Elliott, through the blustery Philly rain, at the end of regulation.

BEST STORY: Either Joshua Dobbs parachuting into Minnesota, not knowing half his teammates or the playbook, and taking the Vikings to a comeback win in Atlanta, or Tommy DeVito quarterbacking the Giants while living with his parents in nearby Cedar Grove, N.J.

BEST DEVELOPMENT: Daniel Snyder’s ouster as Washington’s owner, as he was replaced by Josh Harris.

WORST DEVELOPMENT: Aaron Rodgers’ inability to rehab quietly.